In His presence is fullness of joy

Wow, another week has passed since I've blogged--or even looked at my blog, I think... Time is going by so crazy fast around here. Days have been coming and going and my time and my heart have been full. I think I'm going to have to get the hang of scheduling my blogs because it seems like I only ever have time to blog on the weekends, and then I'll put out a cluster of posts and not look at my page again until another week has passed us by.  But I'll have to get caught up before I do that because if I'm already a week behind, and then I schedule my blogs for the following week, it's going to be old news by the time it gets posted.  I'll get the hang of this eventually. I've still been plugging my way through "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.  Not to sound like a broken record, but if you haven't gotten your copy yet, go for it.  It really is full of life-changing truth.  So much so, that I find myself working my way through it slowly.  I hear so many people saying they couldn't put it down and they devoured it in a day...and I think that's great.  Somehow, where I am in my life right now, my heart isn't ready to embrace gratitude every day.  It really has been a journey for me.  It's something that I want.  But I also find myself very much wanting control...and I can't have it.   In Ann's book, she says:  "Why do I lunge for control instead of joy?"  I've read that sentence so many times.  Isn't that what we do?  With fists clenched tight and knuckles white, we hold on...as if our feeble attempts at holding on made a difference somehow...  Why is that our natural reaction?  When we claim to believe in a good God who is always in control, why do we instinctively try to force our will instead of looking for Him in our circumstances?   So, this is a life lesson that I desperately want to learn.  Some days are better than others as I continue to try to be thankful in the little things. Yesterday was a hard day.  It seemed to drag on forever.  After a couple restless nights this week, I was beat, and by the time our Bible study rolled around I felt completely spent.  Usually, it only takes a short time before I'm so caught up in company that I forget I'm tired, but that wasn't the case last night.  I was one of those nights when I was thankful to have people in my home, and glad they were having a good time, but I really did want to tuck away alone, and that feeling didn't go away.  I found myself thinking, "I will be so thankful when I can cuddle up next to my hubby in our warm bed."  This morning, when I was getting ready for the day, I thought back to last night and I was so disappointed.  I realized that by the time we finally got to bed last night, it was nearly 1am, and I guess I just crashed.  I had forgotten to be thankful...and I was so disappointed that I had forgotten to take the time to thank the Lord for the much needed rest that I had looked forward to all day yesterday. So, this is good to see that at least my heart is really wanting to see God's goodness and be thankful. It's so important to be thankful.  I'm convinced that when it comes to gratitude, there really is no middle ground.  If you're not thankful, you will eventually become unthankful, and then bitter, and if you go too far down that road, I really think you will grow blind to the many good things that God gives. Well, I'll leave you with another quote from the book:  "If I am rejecting the joy that is hidden somewhere deep in this moment--am I not ultimately rejecting God? . . .  In His presence is fullness of joy."  

Gratitude Journal...

It's 40% off "coupon week" at Hobby Lobby.

For us, this means that--if we're in Rochester--we will often stop by and browse around.  I'm a mother of one little girl...and what can I say?  It's one of our favorite mother-daughter activities.  Sometimes I'll pick up a magazine...  Sometimes a chain for beading...  Sometimes some craft supplies...

I was hoping to find a gratitude journal.

But it had to be special...

I figured I'd know it when I saw it.

I rummaged through the pile of journals.

There were several that were fine, but none that called out to me...

until I saw this one:

 

Mmm hmm...I would say this was meant to be my gratitude journal.  (With the coupon, I paid just under $2! I almost felt guilty using a coupon...) Thank you, Lord...

I went home and promptly copied the quote from Ann Voskamp's book onto the front page--the one about how "I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks . . ."  You can read the rest at this post if you want.

So . . . if the goal is to write down 1000 gifts . . .  Where do I begin?  I mean, I could just start looking around the room and begin to fill the pages of this book, but that wouldn't be meaningful.

So, through the course of the day, when something just jumps out to me as a gift from the Lord, I write it down.  It may be something significant, or very small, but it was something that filled my heart with warmth and thankfulness for that moment.

And so begins my journey to 1000 gifts! I really like the idea of writing down just a few words to remember those special moments in the day. For example, today, Elizabeth and I were doing school.  We sit across from one another at a narrow black table.  As you can imagine, home schooling can sometimes bring tension into the mother-daughter relationship.  This morning, after reading our devotions together, we both leaned in nose-to-nose across the table, and she gave me the most precious little "nose kiss".  I put both of my hands on her sweet little face, closed my eyes, just held her close, and drank-up the moment because I knew it was a gift. 10. Spontaneous nose kiss during school God is so good.